Friday, February 26, 2010
Speaking of which, I've been noticing daffodils and irises sprouting from the cold earth. They're barely recognizable, as they're only about 2 inches tall, but they're a refreshing sign of warm weather - and lots of gardening blog posts - to come. I don't know about you, but this long, harsh, cold, snowing, dreary winter is going to make those spring flowers all the more beautiful this year!
Until then, stay warm and dry!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Peace and love to you all!
Friday, February 12, 2010
I LIVE for Fridays. We usually go out to dinner (as a family) on Friday nights because I just can't muster enough energy to make another meal. But here I sit, pretending to be away from home as the snow falls on yet another Friday evening, tonight's dirty casserole dishes still adorning our kitchen table.
Well, it's GOT to be my turn to pull by now. Thank you, blog, for these invaluable mini-vacations!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
I allow myself 1 hour of writing time per day, usually during Sophie's "nap" time. Most of my writing amounts to nothing, which has been troubling for me at times, but for the most part is understandable. As I "write" now, for instance, my lovely daughter (who's supposed to be napping) is yelling at the top of her lungs,
Are you there?
Is there anybody out there?
I need help!
Are you watching the weather? (As if...)
Granted, she is not yelling out of anger, rather, she finds this quite humorous. I do, too, to a certain extent, but I swear right here and now NEVER to get down on myself again for writing something disjointed, incoherent, or downright lousy. Who can concentrate with all of this noise?! It is no wonder my mind is only flooded with good ideas when I'm lying in bed at night... it's the only time I get any peace and quiet.
"Mommy, mommy, MOMMY!!!"
Monday, February 8, 2010
I had the most wonderful day with my daughter today. It was one of those days that makes me so grateful to be able to be with her every moment of every day and so worth the petty sacrifices I've made to be able to do so. I'm not exactly sure what precipitates a day like this, if it has something to do with me, or her, or the stars, but it is such a beautiful thing, regardless of cause. I don't know what I did to deserve such a thoughtful, caring, sweet little girl, but it must have been pretty impressive.
Recently, my dear friend, Carrie, posted a piece on her incredibly well-written and thought-provoking blog, http://www.iwantnina.blogspot.com/, about the image(s) of ourselves that we project to the world. It really got me thinking about the things that most influence the images I project and the things that shape them, from my near-crippling issues with body image, to my unrealistic drive for perfectionism, to my tendency toward obsessive-compulsiveness. I thought a lot about how I even put up a front for the people closest to me (I think we all do to a certain extent)... but not with Sophie. Aside from the fact that we're always together, I think part of the reason we're so in sync with each other is because I don't need to pretend with her. I can be the "real" me because she has yet to develop self-consciousness and therefore, has no idea about concepts like judgement.
What a gift this has been for me! Since I've been able to let my guard down with her, I've learned so much about myself that I either never knew existed or completely forgot about. This has definitely been one of the most unexpected yet welcomed aspect of motherhood for me thus far.
This is certainly not to say that all of my revelations have been positive. For the first year or more of Sophie's life I was plagued by a fairly deep depression. Suddenly the mirror was right in front of my face all the time and I often didn't like what I saw. It has taken me, and is taking me, a long time to come to terms with and work on many different aspects of myself that, frankly, I'm not crazy about. But on days like this, when the stars align just right, I actually see quite a few areas that I not only like, but am proud of. And it's days like these when I realize that you have to have good with bad, as day needs night and hot needs cold.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
I just wanted to drop by end ask for your patience! I've been ill and have had some home-owner catastrophies and just haven't had time to write. I have quite a few pieces in the works, so if we keep our power for the next few days (yet another snow/ice storm) I'll be sure to share.